I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
Randomize
