HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
Randomize