ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
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