I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
Randomize
