I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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