Tell her she can't have a vagina
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
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