I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
Randomize
