he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Randomize
