I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Randomize
