nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
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