Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
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