I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
