so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
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