girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Randomize