In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
never play flip cup with pint glasses
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
Randomize
