She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
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