is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
Randomize
