got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Randomize
