omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
Randomize
