i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
Randomize
