There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
no you cant smoke seaweed
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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