..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
Randomize
