you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
Randomize
