There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Randomize
