There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
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I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
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By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
I forgot wine drunk hurts
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
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