Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
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