he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
Randomize
