He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
Semen is not good for contacts.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
Randomize