i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
3 2 1 whiskey
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
