i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Randomize
