I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Randomize
