fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
Randomize
