barbara walters just said penis...
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
Randomize
