She announced her abortion via fbk
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
Randomize
