Sober January is a disaster.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
Randomize
