i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
its liver damage thursday
Randomize
