If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
Randomize
