If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize
