One girl and one boy is just not enough.
the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
