It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Randomize