your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're not piercing ourselves today.
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
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