we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
how drunk are you?
Several
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
Randomize
