Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
Randomize
