I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
