Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Randomize
