If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
Randomize
