yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
Randomize
