Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
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