sorry about calling you the devil all night.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
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Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
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