idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
Randomize
