I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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