Is it normal to miss your booty call?
summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
Randomize
