I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
Randomize
