the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize