The maid of honor just puked.
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
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