He is an equal opportunity slut.
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
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