I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Randomize
