I feel great
I just peed on a car
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Randomize
