Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
Randomize