I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
Randomize
