yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
Randomize
