do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
