after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
I think I just sharted jello shots
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
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