dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
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