Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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