I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
is that a dick in a sweater?
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
Randomize
