Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
I just threw up in the bathroom next to the zebra exhibit. The kids don't know I skipped a beat. Best nanny, ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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