and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
He passed out mid-signature
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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